Biden unveils “Kages For Kids” program aimed at fixing immigration crisis

President Joe Biden unveiled a new program to help fix the ongoing immigration crisis in the United States.

“The Kages For Kids initiative will help protect families as they make the perilous journey across our border and into the loving arms of Mother Liberty,” said Biden during a recent press conference from the basement of the White House.

“You can really tell they mean business. Spelling ‘cages’ with a K to utilize alliteration really shows that this is going to work. We finally have a fix,” said Nancy Pelosi as she headed out for an illegal hair appointment in her home state of California.

The program’s head jailer director of operations, Stanley Lochumup, promised to do everything within his power to implement the initiative once the state-of-the-art “structurally reinforced comfort centers” were fully operational. “We still have more bars to weld into the windows of the detention cent…I mean…tiny homes, but we’re on track to have everything up and running in just a few days.”