Party that feared Trump would use the military to keep power happily keeps troops in DC

The Pentagon (better known as “that outfit”) recently announced its decision to extend the National Guard troop presence in DC for an additional two months.

Democrats, who feared that Donald Trump would use military force to cling to power after losing the election, immediately cheered the decision.

“We did it! We prevented a tyrant from taking over these sacred halls that represent the American ideals of freedom and liberty, “said an excited Nancy Pelosi as she was escorted through the barbed wire fencing and a sea of troops carrying assault rifles around the Capitol.

“This is an important day for the American people. This city, after all, belongs to them,” echoed Chuck Schumer while waiting for his aides to go through a full-body cavity search at the entrance to the Senate.

In the distance, a handful of tourists waved American flags and took pictures of the various DC monuments before being detained and questioned by military police under suspicion of being MAGA terrorists.

“The Founding Fathers would be proud of us,” said AOC as she took selfies with the troops. “Of course, they were all racist and sexist bigots, so it’s sorta bittersweet.”