John Kerry paints his private jet green in an effort to combat global warming

Airport staff reportedly discovered presidential climate czar John Kerry spray painting his private jet green in an attempt to help fight global warming.

“They wanna see me go green? This will show ’em,” Kerry reportedly muttered to himself as he finished painting one of the jet engines.

The Presidential Envoy for Climate has come under scrutiny for using his environmentally unfriendly jet to fly to climate meetings and accept environmental awards around the world.

“People just don’t understand that, for an elitist like me, this really is the best way to travel. What am I supposed to do, fly coach like a peasant?” Kerry said to a room full of stoned hippies.

Kerry’s next trip as climate czar involves releasing thousands of balloons into the air on the beaches of Normandy to celebrate the US rejoining the Paris Climate Agreement.