October 16, 2024

The Daily Mimic

Satire of the utmost quality and absurdity

SCOTUS welcomes mysterious replacement for Breyer

The Supreme Court welcomed its newest justice, with the mysterious nominee replacing the outgoing Justice Breyer.

Democrats and hardcore progressives have been screaming for Justice Breyer’s head on a pike but said they would settle for his forced retirement. Liberals hoped that Biden would use the opportunity to nominate a diabolically amoral leftist that would crush conservatism once and for all.

But pundits were slightly alarmed to find some random yet familiar-looking justice sitting for the latest group photo for the court on Thursday.

“I know this gentleman, but I can’t seem to remember how,” said Nancy Pelosi.

The new justice, Danny Frump, says he’s a Kennedy cousin and super left-wing.

“I’m a yuge progressive. Give me all the taxes. I love taxes. Kill the filibuster, right?” said the newly installed justice.

“Something’s not right…” whispered the clerks as they scurried about the court.

Justice Frump is set to start weighing in on cases when the court reconvenes in October.

2 thoughts on “SCOTUS welcomes mysterious replacement for Breyer

  1. The SCOTUS piece was hugely enjoyable. Well done to the photos hopper. I shall spread it and your site far and wide. Thanks from Scarborough North Yorkshire.

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