Democrats task Sesame Street with simplifying the definition of Critical Race Theory

The term “Critical Race Theory” is impressed on every Democrat’s lips, but it seems that very few know how to clearly define it.

“This is a serious problem, we need a clear definition of CRT so that the general public finally understands the debilitating damage it causes.” Laughed Kamala Harris 

When asked, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez struggled to explain the concept. 

“Well you know, critical race theory is…like…like everyone…as in society everyone…it involves us and our history…and the future of immigrants of course!” She said.

Anti-racist activist, Ibram Xolani Kendi, offered a more convoluted explanation.

“Critical race theory is a bunch of critical race theories that are critical for every race…in theory.” 

President Biden used vivid imagery to strengthen his explanation.

“CRT is like a car. It don’t go any fast then…whoopie! You know?”

The American public is beginning to wake up to the absurdity of this movement so if the Democrats want to strengthen their chances of pushing the CRT agenda, they’ll need to establish a clear and simple definition fast.

Nancy Pelosi suggests the problem should be solved through a Feynman framework.

“CRT is an incredibly complex subject – like particle physics and gender fluidity. We need to filter its complexity down to a definition that’s as concise as possible” She said.

The United States government has palmed the responsibility off to Sesame Street, chosen for their expertise in simple and engaging lessons.

Elmo is tasked with delivering the simplified definition next Tuesday at 8 am PT, which will be broadcast live across the United States. 

When asked how he felt about the responsibility of delivering a message that could finally end 400 years of systemic racism, his response was simple – a comforting forecast of his successful performance.

“That’s a lot of pressure on a furry little monster.”

Marcus Scaeva