October 16, 2024

The Daily Mimic

Satire of the utmost quality and absurdity

After just one day, NASA’s new rover finds ancient life on Mars

Courtesy of NASA: An image of the first ancient life discovered on Mars (Reddit)

Well, that didn’t take long. Just a day after NASA’s Perseverance rover landed on Mars to search for signs of ancient life, it struck pay-dirt.

“These images are astounding. Almost brings a tear to your eye,” said mission specialist Tim McNerdy. “It’s bittersweet. We were successful in our mission, but we spent billions of dollars on a project that ended in just a few hours.”

NASA now must figure out how to make contact with the alien lifeform. Some have suggested offering it socialized healthcare or universal income to entice the creature to respond.