November 16, 2024

The Daily Mimic

Satire of the utmost quality and absurdity

BREAKING: The sky is…falling?

Rictus Brutus

World-wide panic nearly ensued when reports were issued from the government-funded CLCI (Chicken Little Climatology Institute) that quote, “The sky is falling.”

Dr. Little could not be reached for comment, but an aid issued the following statement to the press: “Due to the ubiquitous and unbending nature of math and the scientific method, the Chicken Little Climatology Institute hereby amends it’s former statement to “The sky is…changing.”

Some have criticized the CLCI for mismanaging public funds, even going so far as to accuse the institute of attempting to inflate its budget through sensational and repeated reports such as “the sky is falling, the sky is falling.”

A memo, purportedly from the Desk of Dr. Chicken Little reads as follows. “The CLCI recommends the best way to deal with so called ‘Sky Deniers’ is to ridicule them for being sky deniers, or laugh at their naivety, or imply they have something against science. Under no circumstances are facts, figures, or methodology to be discussed.” This issue remains cloudy.

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