December 25, 2024

The Daily Mimic

Satire of the utmost quality and absurdity

Elon Musk encourages Texans to stay warm by getting baked

Elon Musk, center, examining a fatty while NOT inhaling (Joe Rogan Experience/YouTube)

As Texas deals with the aftermath of an unprecedented snowstorm and prepares for a second round of winter weather, Elon Musk is putting his engineering genius to good use to help Texans stay warm.

“If you find yourself without electricity and need to stay warm, just light up a fat one and get blazed,” said Musk during an interview with the Wall Street Journal. “But if you’re morally opposed to getting stoned, well, then I guess you should have bought one of my flame throwers.”

There have been rumors that Musk’s Boring Company is just a front for growing pot underground, but no hard evidence has surfaced.

“You can’t be cold if you don’t remember where you’re at,” quipped the multi-billionaire as he hopped into his personal jetpack and flew off to Tesla HQ.

After Musk’s comments made headlines, Austin, San Antonio, and Dallas immediately experienced a sudden shortage of potato chips and Cheetos.